We’re not worthy.

At 23 I sat at a dinner table on a cruise ship with nine other women I worked with and had to answer the “icebreaker” question of “If you could be any woman in the world, who would you choose?”

We had to go around the table and answer the question. I was stressed AF. This was my first year working with this company and I was surrounded by older women who had been there for 10, 20, 30+ years and were much advanced in their career than I was.

As I was filled with anxiety, I listened to the other answers:

“Catherine Zeta Jones because she is so beautiful.”
“Jennifer Aniston because she has great hair and skin.”
“Angelina Jolie because she is so thin and gorgeous.”

I can’t make this shit up.

I’ve never wanted to be someone else and I’ve never cared about celebrities that much so it was hard for me to think of someone. Since I couldn’t think of someone I wanted to be, I tried to simply think of someone I admired and I thought about Tina Fey. She’s hilarious, smart, and doesn’t take shit from anyone.

When it was my turn, I said, “Tina Fey, because she is one of the most intelligent and funny people in the entertainment business.”

They all looked at me like I had two heads. It was as if they couldn’t comprehend that I would value intelligence, wit, and humor over glamorous beauty. Don’t get me wrong, Tina Fey is pretty. But she never let that define her. She didn’t focus on being pretty. She could have, but she’s smarter than that.

This dinner was a decade ago and I still think about it weekly. I could not believe that these successful women had nothing else to idolize than being pretty. Being pretty is easy. It’s everything else that’s hard.

Striving to only be pretty is like working toward the lowest common denominator. And this is coming from someone who spends a good part of her paycheck on clothes, shoes, hair, nails, makeup, etc. I am definitely not the girl that looks down on anyone for wanting to look good. But how sad would that be if that was all you cared about?

If that same dinner happened today I would most likely have the same answer and wouldn’t think twice about the oncoming stares. Tina Fey is a badass. She is and should be a role model for young women. Not because she’s famous and pretty but because she’s smart, funny, and stands up for herself and what she believes in, with a bit of snark, grit, and wit.





I have to be successful because I do too much drunk online shopping.


December: Bucket or F*ck It List

December: Bucket or F*ck It List

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