Because Mommy needs a cocktail.
Popsicle in Chardonnay
If your children are anything like mine, they are obsessed with popsicles. My daughters would cut a fool for frozen juice on a stick, no doubt. Knowing this, it is impossible for me to ever eat a popsicle in front of them without them also wanting one, and it would be a guaranteed tantrum if I were even to attempt such an injustice. That is, until I discovered the clever trick that is a popsicle in Chardonnay.
- Remove a popsicle from the freezer, forgetting in your exhausted haze that this is going to cause a huge issue when your children get wise to the fact that you have a popsicle. Any flavor will do.
- After you have already opened and thrown away the wrapper, realize in horror what you have just done, and desperately look for a place to hide the popsicle.
- Grab your luke-warm chardonnay that you failed to drink while eating dinner because you have children. Immediately drop your popsicle into the Chardonnay, with the stick end pointing up for easy grasping.
- Feel an immense sense of accomplishment, and confidently stride into the living room where your children are fighting over a single Barbie shoe.
- Intermittently sip your now-flavored wine, and eat your popsicle. When your children begin looking at you in wide-eyed disbelief over their lack of popsicles, you can confidently say, “Oh, I’m sorry, this popsicle has alcohol in it, and is only for grown ups.”
(Serves one because I’m not sharing)
Sangria is the perfect summer drink. Fruity, cold, delicious, and so many options! The difficulty with sangria is that many recipes require several ingredients, and some even ask you to let the sangria sit in the fridge for several hours before it is ready to be enjoyed. HA! When I am at home and decide I would like some sangria, chances are I have about ⅓ of the required ingredients, and about thirty minutes before I have to go to bed. No worries, though, because I have McGyver-ed a sangria-ish beverage that is sure to hit the spot when you have no time and no actual ingredients.
- Pour a pint glass ⅓ of the way with wine. Choose your favorite/cheapest wine– I’m not picky.
- Fill another ⅓ of the glass with a flavored, sparkling water. Congratulate yourself on adding zero additional calories to the beverage, and minimal additional flavor.
- Cut up whatever fruit you have lying around that will expire within the next day or two into bite-sized pieces. Drop it into your wine/sparkling water mixture. I’ve recently enjoyed almost-rotten cherries and nectarines in my sangria.
- Add ice, and mix the entire concoction with a spoon, or maybe the semi-clean knife you used to cut up your fruit.
- Sip while watching Netflix, and pretend you are in Spain.
(Serves as many as you want. Just add extra of everything, no need to actually measure)
The Hidden Cookies
My husband and I have this neat trick after we put our kids to bed, where we watch movies and eat desserts, unbeknownst to our children. We enjoy this ritual immensely, but with great power comes great responsibility, and we REALLY don’t want them to know we do it. Can you imagine how difficult bedtime would be if they knew the good stuff comes out after they are asleep? It’s important that we keep up the charade that we are boring after bedtime.
Recently, we had a VERY close call where my oldest daughter came out of her room after I had already broken out the secret cookies from the back of our cupboard, but I was able to pull off a movie-worthy cover up, and the following recipe was born:
- Pour a large glass of milk
- Remove four sandwich cookies from their secret, back-of-the-cupboard location.
- Sit on the couch for literal Netflix and chill, and prepare to enjoy your cookies and milk.
- Pause mid-cookie dunk when you realize that you hear the pitter-patter of suspicious footsteps coming your way.
- Desperately look around for a place to hide the cookies. Momentarily panic when you realize there is nowhere to stash them that won’t make a mess.
- In a stroke of genius, drop all of the cookies into the glass of milk, completely obscuring them from view.
- When your daughter comes out and asks, “What do you have?” you can confidently answer, “A glass of milk.” This is not a lie!
- Send her back to bed, and grab a spoon to fish out the now very-soggy-but-still-delicious cookies. Eat them like they are unhealthy and awesome oatmeal.
(Serves one, depending on how many cookies you are hiding)
Happy Summer! Enjoy!
Momming 👯♀️ Teaching 🍎 Overthrowing the patriarchy 💪🏻Turning my congressional district blue 🔵🇺🇸.
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