Figuring out how to live when my entire paycheck is gone in an instant.
I got paid on Friday. After paying my mortgage and some bills, I promptly realized I had $29.38 to last me TWO WEEKS until my next paycheck. I had screwed up the dates and paid my mortgage too early but what was I going to do, ask Chase for a refund? So I spent this past Saturday binge-watching #GirlBoss on Netflix and participating in other zero-cost activities, including but not limited to trying to create edible meals out of the remains of my freezer, lounging at the pool, checking Insta, and drinking the only booze left in my house.
So there I was, binging #GirlBoss. Living the dream. You might think #GirlBoss would be so inspiring and that I would jump off the couch and start working on one of my numerous side-hustles to make some extra cash. You would be wrong. I spent the majority of Sunday pretty much how I spent Saturday, but just a little more depressed.
In a recent InStyle article, Amuroso says, “Don’t compare your hustle to their highlight reel.” Normally, I am a rational person and I agree with her. What people put on social media is only part of the story. I definitely didn’t post my sad state of affairs that weekend, and rationally I knew other people have hard times as well. But, it’s extremely hard to be rational when you’re poor as dirt, tired, and OVER IT. How do you find the motivation to hustle when you’re working 40+ hours a week and you literally don’t even have the money to pay the $10/day to park at work?
It’s easy to look at success stories, like Amuroso’s and think, “I don’t have time to work that hard” or “If only I had a little extra money, I could do something like that.”
That is a bunch of bullsh*t.
The reality is that instead of doing something to fix my “$29 situation,” I was drinking five-year-old vodka with iced tea and binging on Netflix. And feeling sorry for myself, too. I was only making things worse.
One of Amuroso’s quotes in Nasty Galaxy is,
“Do all you can with all that you have and you’ll find yourself with more than you could ever dream of. Connect the dots that most wouldn’t and the heavens will open up and swallow you whole. Take no moment, no person, and no single thing for granted, and you’ll dance yourself into living the dream.”
I am typically not a “believe in your dreams” type of girl, but I really didn’t want to be the couch-potato-alcoholic that I was slowly turning into. I decided then and there to stop feeling sorry for myself. I decided that even if I only made one little step, it would be better than zero steps. Writing these paragraphs isn’t the same as writing a book, but it’s more than I had before. So, here’s to doing all I can with what I’ve got at this point in time, even if it’s only $29.
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